The things you said you would never do as a mum
We've all been there the self righteous 'pre parent' - vowing never to do those things you saw other mums doing.
Truth is though until you're a parent and in the thick of parenting you really can't be sure what you will or won't do. There should be no judgement either because you dont know the situation- the premath or infact anything about that Mom or Dad to understand what is happening in that particular situation.
I thought for reflection (and a laugh) and a heads up to those soon to be parents it would be worth jotting a few of those "I will never" Mom statements down.
I will never...
1) Bribe my kids- when you're trying to get out the door for a prearranged appointment, get them to school on time, stop that tantrum in the middle of a supermarket - the bribes can come thick and fast. " If you come quickly you can watch TV later" , "If you're good you can have that ice cream" and so on.
2) Let my kids eat fast food. I was one of those people who would never have let her kids eat at a certain fast food outlet ( before I was a mum). " Those meals have no good nutrients- are full of salt etc". However once there were 2 little ones on the scene fast food when you need to get them fed and you know a meltdown will happen on the way home if you wait to get back to cook can be a savior.
3). Shout at my kids. Yep of course I was going to always be reasonable - listen and talk calmly to my kids. Nah!- now I don't like it, I am not proud of it when I do it, but sometimes I lose it and shout. My friend was asking herself if this made her a bad mum - no it doesn't- it's not great to shout but sometimes it happens and sometimes it seems the only thing that does work. They will survive and so will you- dont beat yourself up so much about it.
4). Let them have too much screen time.. This is a hot topic one. My kids don't have ipads but I have found some use in some apps that are educational and to be honest they give a few minutes downtime when cooking dinner or trying to get something else done. That said most my friends kids do have ipads and it totally helps them get a few minutes when needed. I also said I would never use them when out at meals etc - funny thing is if one of their friends has one , they all crowd round it and if it keeps the peace for a little while I'm not going to be the one to stop it. Then there is TV - this can be very helpful when you just need a few minutes to get something done and now both kids are a bot older we enjoy snuggling up and watch a movie as a treat on an evening.
5) Never use a dummy. Pacifiers can be such a relief to those parents where the baby is crying and nothing will comfort them. I had blankies for both of mine in my own 'sticking to my guns', 'no pacifier' rule. What happened ? My first baby sucked the blanket just the same as she would a dummy so go figure. If it helps them and they're not still using it at college - hey ho let the parents decide what their baby needs and makes them the happiest.
6) Let my kids eat food they've dropped on the floor- so generally I stick by this but sometimes their little hands are so fast they grab it and its straight in their mouths. The 5 second rule comes back to haunt me on this and lets face it once they start moving around on the floor they're getting stuff on their hands that they're transferring to bottles and stuff when they're touching things- so I'm less prudish about that these days.
7) have my kids sleep in the same bed. Ok so both my girls have their own beds and they're pretty good at staying in them at nighttime but on the odd occasion one wakes up and wants a cuddle I'm perfectly happy to have them seep the rest of the night with us Those parents that have their kids with them all the time -why not? they're not going to do it for ever so why not enjoy that precious time.
8) Have toys everywhere - well this has not gone quite to plan. I bought a huge toy box so most of it gets chucked in there to keep them out the way in the evening - but yes toys are visible in our apartment - and that's ok.
There are many more I'm sure - main thing is lets not just judge parents - whether you are one or not - because you really don't know the full story :-)
